Showing posts with label blogging. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blogging. Show all posts

Saturday, 3 January 2015

Still blogging

A few people have asked me recently "still blogging?" and I'm like "well, yes, but not, like, actively of anything".

I realised I forgot to announce the arrival of Baby Smile back in August, but yes, he's here now and extremely nice. I keep doing weird things since he's been born, like being almost in tears at the thought of entering a baby in a "Most Beautiful Baby" contest, because imagine if you did that and then your baby didn't win. One day I cried because he kicked his sock out of the pram and lost it, and then the following week I was walking along the same road and found it.

Anyway, I'm vaguely working on the WhyNotSmile Guides to Pregnancy and to Baby Care. They're going to be fabulous.

Monday, 11 November 2013

A New Idea I've Been Thinking About

So I've had this new idea, and it stems from the fact that I keep seeing articles with really interesting titles which are not anywhere near as interesting when I actually click on them.  So I'm thinking of writing blog posts which contain what I wanted the articles to say.

This may or may not be interesting.  We'll see.

Friday, 28 September 2012

Some Things I Found And Liked

I'd love to apologise for the delay in transmission, but you know what?  I'm not even sorry.  I've just been busy.  And also, today I think my brain stopped working.  Like, it's doing all the basics like reminding me to breathe, but it's not doing actual thoughts.

So I thought I'd share with you some Things I Found Online And Liked.  We might come back to some of them later.

Firstly, this weekend is the 100th anniversary of the Ulster Covenant, which is, if you are a certain type of Ulster Protestant, a Big Deal.  There's to be a load of parades, all through the city centre, and there's to be a protest, but everybody has said how much they don't want to riot unless they absolutely have to, so I think it'll probably be fine.  In any case, Virtual Methodist wrote a thing about it, which I think you should all read.

Then there was a thing The Soapbox wrote about forgiveness, which was also a little bit about football, but not so much that you have to understand the offside rule or anything.  Mostly it is about forgiveness, and Very Good it is too.  This is one of the things we might come back to later.

Another thing we might come back to later, and which might even be connected, was a thing that someone said to The Chip Monk some time ago (I'm not providing a link, because you'll all go there and argue again):
People generally have little or no faith in God: their faith is in the church. Then, when the church fails (inevitable), they lose their faith. One of my many questions is why so few people in the church have any faith in God.
I believe this to be Fairly Profound, and possibly connected to us being Not Very Good at forgiving in churches.  When my brain starts working again (and I'm only assuming it will: I haven't sought medical advice or anything), I believe I shall have More To Say on this.

Friday, 27 July 2012

Liveblogging and The Olympics: WhyNotSmile Investigates

Now, it has been brought to my attention that in some Foreign Places, time is different, and therefore they will not be able to watch the Olympics Opening Ceremony as it happens, because they will all be in work, so the TV is not showing it until later.  This is not The Sort Of Thing I Like, so I propose to remedy it by liveblogging the Opening Ceremony as it happens this evening.

I'm not entirely sure how liveblogging works; for instance, do I just add more updates to the original post?  I assume that if I make lots of posts, then you'll all get annoyed because your RSS Feed will go nuts while you are trying to watch the Olympics, so I think we'll try just editing the existing post, and you can just keep reloading the page.  But if anyone has any better ideas, please let me know.

Until 7pm*, I bid you adieu.

*I know it doesn't start till 9, but Boyfriend Smile is coming at 7 for the build up, and bringing a Wall Chart.

Incidentally, I have ordered a magazine about the Olympics, but it hasn't arrived yet (probably because I only ordered it last night), so if I sound a little uneducated, it's because I haven't done my homework yet.

Sunday, 23 October 2011

Technical Plans

Also, I'm currently trying to work out if I can live blog The Apprentice to save time.  So far, no joy.

Friday, 31 December 2010

New Year's Honours List 2010

So another year, another New Year's Honours List without my name on it.  Does anyone know how they decide these things?

Do they start with a list of categories, and then fill them with people?  'Cos if they do, there are some mighty odd categories.  "Services to cricket".  "Services to helping small children cross roads".  "Services to the distribution of milk".  But there's no "Services to snarky blogging", so you can't have one, WhyNotSmile. We don't care how much you did, how much you made us laugh, how much effort you put in to watching The Apprentice and then being sarcastic about it, that award is not on our list so you get NOTHING, although we may, at some point in the future, re-examine our extensive constitution and give due thought to recommending for consideration the addition of a category into which there is a small chance you will fall.   This is what we might call the "Virtual Methodist" approach to giving awards.

Or do they start with people who deserve awards and then make up categories for them?  Like you do for small children.  "Oh, that is the most... umm... colourful picture I have seen today!  What's it meant to be?"

Anyway, for a while now I've been meaning to compile a list of blogs I've started following, and decided I might as well kill two birds with one stone and post it as my New Year's Honours List.  I've left out all the 'Big Blogs' I follow, like Cake Wrecks and It's Lovely, I'll Take It, because we all know they're hilarious.

Services To Ulster Scots
This has to go to "1690 and all thon", a splendid foray into all things Pratestant, and chief organiser of the campaign to get Ballyhalbert made into the 2015 City of Culture.  Even though Ballyhalbert is right next to Ballysmile, and Ballysmile is better.  But still.  We'd get passing trade.

Services to Unpronounceable Blog Names
Not actually a new blog, but Zoomtard has moved over to what, in my head, I pronounce as Cream Tea, although it's some sort of Irish name and I should probably not be displaying my ignorance.  Anyway, I'm giving him an award so he can't get cross about it.

Services To Maths
I very much like New Math, which uses equations to explain how life works.

Services to Pretty Pictures
In much the same sort of vein, Information is Beautiful is a very splendid way of showing how things are.

Services to Funniness
Bresker is always good for a laugh.  Also he sent me a link to a thing, but I haven't listened to it yet.  But thanks.

Services to Always Being Quite Interesting
A friend recommended Tcsoko, which is another one I can't pronounce (in my head: Tea - Costco), and which is quite good.

So there you have it, and if your name's not there, it's not because I don't love you, it's just because I did this quite quickly and mainly wanted to mention blogs that aren't in my blog roll (must update that), and possibly also because you didn't give me an award.

Friday, 20 November 2009

Geographical Features

Well, the flash floods which have hit much of the UK have not been apparent in WhyNotSmile's posting rates, which would be more accurately described as 'akin to a famine', and for which I apologise.

However, the good news is that this is all because I am currently sitting under a mountain of work (Heh. Fancy WhyNotSmile thinking like that. Amazing what self-employment does to a mind.). It is unlikely that this mountain will be eroded much in the next couple of weeks, so do not expect the rivers to flow again any time soon.

But I am still alive, and am grateful to those who asked.

Sunday, 21 June 2009

On Things You'd Rather Not Have Known

When you have a web page of any description, you are naturally curious as to who's visiting it, and why. One tool which helps with this is Google Analytics, and it is this which graces the pages of WhyNotSmile. Now, the advantage of Google Analytics, and other similar things, is that you can go and have a look, at any time, and find out how many people have viewed your site, where they live (like, roughly, i.e. which country, not their street and the colour of their front door or anything), and our topic for today, how they found you.

How they found you is split into various sections, including referring sites (the sites which have links to yours) and 'keywords', which are 'what they typed into Google and which led them to you'.

Referring sites are sometimes interesting, because you find links from all sorts of random things (at one point our church site was being linked to from a porn site), but keywords are even more fascinating.

The top one is usually the name of your site, and then the next couple are variations thereof: for instance, my top 3 keywords (well, phrases) are (1) "why not smile", (2) "why not smile blog" and (3) "whynotsmile". So far so good. Further down the list are things like "why not msile" and so on.

Number (4), however, is, rather unexpectedly, "Important anniversaries in 2009". I have no idea why, but it is true that if you type this phrase into Google (without quotes), WhyNotSmile is your top result. Furthermore, there are at least 6 further variations on this theme as you go down the list, and no less than a dozen people have been led to these pages in such a way.

The statistics also show that by far the most popular search terms (when you lump the variations together) leading to WhyNotSmile lately have been variations on The Apprentice, including "Lorraine fancies Ben The Apprentice", "Yasmina + Debra holding hands" and "Yasmina Debra relationship". Did I miss something? If I did, I'm not honestly sure I regret it.

However, my absolute favourite is at number (5) on the list: no less than 3 people have found WhyNotSmile by powering up Google and entering the immortal phrase "gay sex omeath".

I kid you not.

Wednesday, 29 April 2009

When Real Life And My Computer Collide

What with not having an absolutely excellent grip on reality, WhyNotSmile tends to forget that virtual people are not the same as real people, but that sometimes they do nevertheless have a common root in that curious thing known as Real Life, so that people on her computer are connected in some way to people she may meet at, for instance, her new housemate's housewarming party, which was timed to coincide with Anzac Day, which is not normally An Excuse For A Party.

Which is a roundabout way of saying I met Alan in Belfast the other night. He owns a zebra called Zeddy, which I thought was nice.

And this weekend I may at long last get to meet Ministry of Traybakes, who is married to Virtual Methodist, with whom I have been in a room several times, but to whom I have never spoken (I should clarify that there have always been other people in the room; it's not that I sat in one corner while VM paced the floor at the other end of the room).

So I might add them to the blogroll. We'll see.

Anyway, the occasion (do you know, I never know how to spell that) of meeting Ministry of Traybakes is that she is speaking at our church's Community Service this coming Sunday. I think it should have a better name than Community Service, because sounds like the sort of thing you might do in a mucky ditch while wearing a fluorescent jacket, and we wouldn't want to discourage anyone from coming, especially since that's not really what it's about. We would call it Community Sunday, but then, for completeness, we would have to weave it into the evening service somehow, and that makes it all more complex.

But the point is that I got talked into being interviewed for a video which will be shown at the service, and I talked nonsense and giggled a lot, and am therefore hoping the video gets axed, or at least that all the bits of me talking end up on the cutting room floor.

Sunday, 29 March 2009

*sigh*

Honestly, you think people would have more respect. You crash on to the blog scene, you get your pat on the back, you get people spreading the word and then you go and change your fecking* blog name.

So Wesley Johnston's Blog has now been renamed 'Dotted White Line', and the list to the left is about to be ammended accordingly.


* 'fecking' is not a Bad Word. It is not etymologically related to any similar words, and is used in Ireland as a mild expletive. According to Wikipedia. Clearly true, then.

New Kid on the Blog

You know what the world needs? In these credit crunch days, with financial markets falling around us and Google Street View displaying our very homes to every Tom, Dick and Stalker that wants to know, what the world needs is another blog. Preferably a blog written by a chap obsessed with roads and pedantic enough to include an apostrophe in the blog title*. A blog which will explore the depths and heights of science, religion and... roads, probably. In black.

So I am pleased to introduce you to wesleyjohnston'sblog, and to invite you to visit. Wesley is more creative than the name of his blog would suggest, knows more about the Northern Irish road network than Roads Service**, and has a wife and a cuuuutttttiiiieeee-pie baby girl. The new arrival means that no one listens to him at home any more, so he started the blog to get attention. I'm guessing.

Anyway, the world is thankful. Lead on, man.

* No, really, I admire that. I wouldn't be bothering promoting it otherwise. I hate poor grammar.
** Technically not difficult.

Wednesday, 18 March 2009

The Dangers of Self-Selecting Samples

Now first up, you will have noticed a new addition to the blogroll on the left, with the addition of the excellent JustLife, "a space dedicated to exploring the connections between faith, money, justice and lifestyle". So if you would like to explore the connections between faith, money, justice and lifestyle, then do follow the link and discover.

Secondly, you may have been following, with interest or otherwise, the tales of St Patrick's Day riots in the Holylands area of Belfast. Now, there have been a number of calls for the university to suspend students who were involved, but frankly I wonder why this should be necessary. All I know is that, when I was a student, if I had been seen on national television, being drunk in the street and throwing things at people, my parents would have been hot-footing it up to Belfast and there wouldn't have been enough pieces of me left for the university to bother suspending me. In any case I would probably not have been seen doing any of those things at all, for I would have been in the library gaining both an Education and Curvature of the Spine.

But to get to today's point, which is the latest in our series on Dodgy Mathematics. Our topic today is 'The danger of the self-selecting sample', and I think we shall use our second point from above as an illustration, although it was not, in fact, the inspiration behind the post.

You will be aware that if you wish to find out something about people (let us say, their behaviour when drunk), it is not normally practical to survey everyone; instead one selects a sample of people (let us say 400 persons), and aims to ensure that one's sample is representative (so one selects 200 men and 200 women, all of a range of ages and so on, covering all pertinent factors). One carries out an experiment (plying the people with alcohol) on the sample of people, and then we use a process called extrapolation, which essentially says that if half the people in our sample get drunk and see pink rabbits, then half of all people everywhere will get drunk and see pink rabbits.

However. This is well and good in a laboratory, but it is a little too scientific for the modern media, who are less concerned with truth and more with selling papers, and who therefore do not take time to select a careful sample, but just listen to whoever shouts loudest. Hence we see that all students shown on the news last night were rioting, and we are led to conclude that 'Students Riot'; this ignores the students like WhyNotSmile who are not drunk in the street because they are in the library reading books and not being drunk at all.

I mention this because I came across someone today who had been given new medication and was concerned for the side-effects. She promptly did what one should never do with any sort of medical condition, and Googled it. Now we all know that if you type any random selection of symptoms into Google, and click for long enough, you will sooner or later be told you are going to die, which is not entirely helpful and may not even be true; likewise, if you type in a drug name followed by "side effects", it is unlikely that you will be taken to a message board which consists of messages saying "I took this drug and it was fine", because, frankly, if you take a drug and nothing much goes wrong, you are not terribly likely to tell the internet (unless it asks); if, on the other hand, it turns you into a wibbly mess then you are highly likely to decide that the world needs to know.

So, to summarise, typing drug name + "side effects" into Google is not likely to be comforting, but fortunately is also unlikely to be representative, and is therefore A Bad Idea. Like rioting.

Monday, 9 February 2009

Do I Have To Do EVERYTHING Around Here?

I'm currently composing a post about Facebook, and am trying to decide what to discuss therein. Specifically, whether or not to mention that John Prescott has started a FB campaign to stop the Royal Bank of Scotland from giving massive bonuses to its staff (what with the recession and all).

The thing is, every article I have read about this has actually taken it seriously. I mean, really, has no one else ripped the piss out of this? Is there not even a single blogger, journalist or commenter on the internet who has poured upon this the derision it deserves? Or have I just not found them?

It's just that I'm quite busy at the moment, and I've already got quite a lot to say about Facebook, and the additional burden of mocking the idea of a politician conducting campaigns via social networking may delay things further.

Thursday, 4 December 2008

A Blog For You

You should all be reading The Mockingbird's Leap. It really is splendid.

Wednesday, 22 October 2008

Blog DIY

Well, you'll see I've done some DIY on the blog. I've installed a dotted line to separate sidebar from main content, and added some new things. For instance, you can now see the 5 blogs I have most recently read, and this is helpful if you have also read them and wish to have a discussion in private.

I have expanded The Blogroll, and you will note several new faces:

Clairebo is married to Zoomtard and has a shiny new blog over at Wordpress; she is, essentially, neuro reincarnated, but "fitter, happier [and] more productive", which is nice.

Hot on Clairebo's heels (in an alphabetical sense) you will see Crooked Shore; I discovered yesterday that Crooked Shore is a WhyNotSmile fan, and has even sent some people in this direction, and felt that this should be recognised.

Further down the list we have Scotteriology, who has a rather splendid blog with funny videos and everything. Well, not everything.

And the final new addition is Virtual Methodist, who I have never met in my life but added in a whirl of unexpected Methodist solidarity, because these things are important. Also, sooner or later we are bound to bump into each other at some Methodist district thing, and I'd like to avoid potential embarrassment.

Then we have an addition to the recommended sites section in the form of the excellent indexed, about which we need speak no further except to tell you to go see it.

Finally, you can become a fan of WhyNotSmile on Facebook by clicking the link at the bottom of the sidebar; you can also subscribe on Google Reader or any of those rss feed... things.

Anyway, having spent much of the evening working on this, I was pleasantly surprised this morning to discover that one is at one's most creative at 10.04pm, thereby assuring us all that this new WhyNotSmile is exceptionally stunning.

Enjoy.

Saturday, 4 October 2008

On Facebook and Democracy

Two things:

1. You can now be a fan of WhyNotSmile on Facebook. You do this, I think, by scrolling down this page to the little box in the left-hand column which looks like a Facebook-style box. Don't really know what you do after that, but I'm sure if you click it, it will tell you.

2. I currently own the Largest Bar of Soap in the World. I've been having an internal debate about whether this is interesting enough to warrant a blog entry or two, and have decided to throw it out to a democratic decision. Would you like to hear about the Largest Bar of Soap in the World? Please leave comments below.

That's all for now.

Saturday, 30 August 2008

All change...

A quick scroll through the archives reveals that WhyNotSmile has been considerably less vociferous since her early release from work back in April. This is not because she has less to say; rather, she no longer spends all day sitting in front of a computer with very little else to do. The library has helped of course, but it tends to be quite busy so you can't really sit and compose these little works of genius while other people stand by waiting to go online so they can fill in job applications and so on.

But this is about to change. I have finally arranged for broadband to be installed at home. I've got this for the almost worringly low price of £7.50 per month, so exopect more posts on incompetent bandits soon. Anyway, it's being connected (or whatever they do - activated maybe) on Wednesday, and from then on, expect normal service to slowly resume.

Also, I hinted in a previous post that I had found gainful employment; you have all been waiting eagerly to find out more (well, espero has - clearly her life's not busy enough right now). So, I have been helping out a friend who has a web design business; he has more work than he can handle, so I've come on board to do a bit of work. He does the business/commercial sites; mainly I'm designing sites for churches (I say that in the plural to make it sound impressive: so far I've done one); so if you have a church (or anything really, like a community group or anything along those lines) and you'd like a website, get in touch. You know you want to.

Friday, 28 March 2008

Happy Birthday WhyNotSmile

I haven't posted much in a while, mainly because I haven't had a lot to say for myself. However, I realised that I missed the momentous occasion of WhyNotSmile's first birthday. On 12th March, WhyNotSmile was a year old.

Clearly, an awards ceremony is in order. I say awards, but there actually aren't any prizes, just kudos.

The winners are:

Most commented on post: It's a dead heat between the Orangefest one and the one in which we all started discussing blog etiquette. An unexpected runner-up, and one which opened the floodgates to even unknown commenters, was the one where I said I'd never seen West Wing.

Commonest label: It had to be what at one stage seemed to be the very raison d'etre of this blog, Incompetent Bandits, who between them managed a whopping 31 entries (Carbon Fast is excluded, 'cos, by definition, it was always going to have 40 entries).

Most frequent commenter: I'm not sure about this, because I can't be bothered to work it out for sure, but I'm going to give this award to QMonkey, for commenting frequently, furiously, and without apparent restraint or objective.

Most unexpected tangent in comments thread: it has to be this one. I was ill, and all you lot start asking after my teddies.

Most manic commenter: P, for his/her first comment in this thread. The first poster here, Anonymous (who may actually have been P, hiding his true identity), was also a strong contender (the manics came out of the woodwork for this post, to be honest), but P wins it for inventing a new word, 'worthly'. Such style.

This of course brings us to the ultimate award: Post of the year. I decided we'd have a poll for this, so I have chosen my favourite posts, and I'd like you all to vote please:



In the meantime, thank you all for visiting.

Friday, 8 February 2008

Monday, 10 December 2007

Going nowhere fast

So Zoomtard is on the go-slow for a while, as far as blogging is concerned. It seems he has more productive things to do with his time (well, excuse us).

Dozavtra is threatening to give up on the whole enterprise and sign out of Cyberspace entirely.

And what has happened to Vox O'Malley lately?

Anyway, I thought I would reassure you that WhyNotSmile is not going anywhere, owing to having an evolutionary advantage over the likes of Zoomtard. You see, Zoomtard has decided he has more important things to do than blog. I, on the other hand, have known all along (and indeed, it is surely patently obvious to anyone who has read more than about 2 sentences of this blog) that I could be doing more useful things than writing this nonsense. But it's lasted this long; why would I quit now?