I called into Boots yesterday to buy something, and on my receipt was printed a web address to which I could go, fill in a customer satisfaction survey, and be entered in a draw to win an iPod or money. I do not feel that my opinions are something it is fair to withhold, so I swiftly went to the website to do the survey.
The thing about surveys, though, is that much as I love them (and I truly do - one of the few things in life where you always know the answers), they are always full of dumb questions.
(Rating 1-5, from strongly disagree up to strongly agree)
"I enjoyed shopping in Boots" - well, I mean, yeah, not the highlight of my life, but it was all right. I didn't have high expectations. I can't think of anything they could do to make it more enjoyable. What am I meant to put?
"I feel that the staff in Boots understand how I am feeling and what I need" - well, hopefully not, actually, because I didn't tell them. I don't walk around with how I feel written all over my face, so how would they know? Why would I want them to know? I'm in to buy a box of Tampax and some shower gel, not for therapy.
Then the essay questions:
"In relation to the store where you received your survey invitation, if any particular staff member was particularly friendly please name or describe them. We would like to thank them for providing friendly service." - no idea of his name, so you'll need a description - studenty-looking bloke, short hair, two arms, one head. Looked a bit nervous about the Tampax. That'll narrow it down.
"Please describe the friendly interaction you had with this staff member" - well, I went up to the till, we exchanged pleasantries. After chatting for some time, we got onto the subject of literature and discovered we had similar tastes. Then we found that we like the same movies, have identical political views and have much in common in our backgrounds. We've arranged to meet Wednesday week and have already added each other on Facebook.
"How could your Boots store be improved?" - Make everything free. *sigh* Look, I don't know. I'm not in the shopfitting business. Pay someone to work that out. I went in, I found me Tampax, I found me shower gel, paid for it at the till, and left. Call me easily pleased, but I don't look for much more.
Anyway, I didn't win the iPod, but was still in line for the cash prize, and await their phone call.
But this is all by way of distraction, because I'm trying to figure out how I see the Bible as a moral guide, so that I can tell Zoomtard.