Saturday, 21 June 2008

Some Things I Dislike

I wish I could write clever stuff like Zoomtard does. But I can't.

So instead, in no particular order, here are some things I dislike:

1. Stupid email forwards. In order of increasing dislike (note that these are what I consider to be the 'building blocks' of a stupid email forward; they can of course be joined in a near-endless range of even more tortuous combinations):
a. Ones where the last 17 senders haven't bothered to delete the headers, so you get 6 feet of other peoples' email addresses before you come to the actual content of the email.
b. Ones which are accompanied by things saying that I will live long and prosper if I send the email on to 79 people within 30 seconds, and otherwise I will die. Even if I wanted to do this, I don't have 79 friends, and yet I have never died by not doing this, so far.
c. Ones with pictures of cute puppies and kittens, accompanied by unrelated Bible verses.
d. Ones with pictures of cute puppies and kittens, accompanied by a soppy prayer.
e. Ones with pictures of cute puppies and kittens, accompanied by a prayer which in almost any other context would be really quite meaningful.


2. Tesco Newtownbreda.


3. People who get to the top of an escalator, step off, and then stop moving (unless they stopped moving because they died, in which case of course I would be sympathetic).


4. Creationist writings. I know I should be tolerant of differences of opinion, and be prepared to engage in debate and deepen understanding and so on, but, to be honest, secretly I just think they're stupid.


5. Windows Vista. Really any version of Windows, but especially Vista.


6. Justin Timberlake. I don't really know why. Also Will Smith. And Tony Blair and George Bush.


7. The Methodist Church moving ministers around every few years. They just moved two of my favourite people in the world to Cullybackey.


8. The Daily Mail.


9. Comic Sans being used for important documents. In fact, from now on, I will automatically treat anything written in Comic Sans as comedy; on your own head be it.


10. Potato salad.

2 comments:

Vox O'Malley said...

Monkstown village has three massive stone blocks with the words

1. Welcome
2. to
3. Monkstown

carved on them.. The only thing I think when I see them is "pity somebody chose Comic Sans" for the font.

ouch.

whynotsmile said...

Oh dear, please say it ain't so!