So the latest Thing with me is that I have decided I would like a pet. It started as a dog, but that would be too much trouble, seeing as how it would have to be taken for walks every day and I'd have to clean up after it (as my dad said, most eloquently, 'Why would you want to walk up the road with a bag of dog sh*t under your arm?' - that rather sealed that decision). I then thrust my mind to the opposite end of the 'pet hassle' spectrum and thought of getting a few goldfish (actually, I guess dogs are only in the middle of the 'pet hassle' spectrum - at the other extreme from goldfish you have such things as horses and so on, which require so much effort that you might as well just have children and be done with it) but goldfish are, frankly, dull. I apologise to goldfish owners out there (please don't bother leaving comments that your dear Flipper and Splashy have the most amazing personalities in the history of marine life, because I was only really apologising to be polite: I will never believe you).
My dad can't be in the same house as rodents, so that rules out hamsters, guinea pigs etc, at least while there's a possibility that I might need him to come round and do more decorating.
And so we come to cats, and this is quite promising. They sleep all day, so I can go to work and leave them; they clean themselves; they can poo in next door's garden (since next door's cats poo in mine); and they are cute. I think I would have to get 2 cats, so they could be friends. And I would like them to start as kittens (I mean when I get them, rather than being already grown up when I get them - I am aware that all cats start as kittens).
So I will look into this further, and let you know how things develop. There will, it goes without saying, be a poll to decide what I should call them, but feel free to get in ahead of time and offer suggestions. This weekend I am beling left In Charge of my neighbours' cats, and the success or otherwise of this may influence things considerably.