So my favourite manager has left work and I have been assigned all kinds of Important Tasks TM until we get a new person. Two days ago I got to chair my first ever work meeting. Now, in our office, meetings don't get 'chaired' so much as 'refereed'. The success of a meeting is measured not by what is achieved (since this is usually not a lot, especially if previously-mentioned now-resigned manager is not involved and the boss is) but by amount of blood (the less the better, we're not sado-masochists or anything), entertainment value (who shouted at who, how loudly, for how long, and about what - this can add to or detract from the overall score) and quality of tea.
By all these standards, it was a reasonably good meeting.
No blood was spilled (10 out of 10).
Arguments were of the 'snappy' variety rather than the long drawn-out variety. I should explain here that the boss and her 'boyfriend' (hideous term since they are both in their forties, but 'live-in lover' makes me want to vomit and I can't think of anything else) are 'in charge', and frequently spend meetings shouting at each other while anyone else in attendance takes immense interest in the table top, their shoes, an important doodle etc. Anyway, the shouting was enough to be mildly entertaining, but not enough to be too embarrassing. So we'll give it a 6 out of 10.
I had chamomile tea, which is a mild sedative, which is a good thing when in work meetings, and we shall award it 8 out of 10.
So overall, my first meeting scored 24 out of 30, or 80%. I am quite pleased with this score and shall award myself a prize. I think I may make myself Employee of the Week, an award which I started last week and have so far failed to win.