So, over at Living Gently, she's doing this thing called The 10 Day You Challenge. So I'm doing it too, because REASONS. Here's how it works:
So Day 1 is 10 secrets, Day 2 is 9 loves, etc. I might not do it on 10 Consecutive Days, mind. Or I might go nuts and do a couple in one day. SO SUE ME.
So, yes, 10 Secrets.
I don't know if I have 10 secrets (not about me, anyways - if I was allowed to tell you other people's secrets, we would be having a field day about now). And some secrets aren't really going to work as blog fodder, because let's face it, I don't know you all that well, Internet, and also, Boundaries. And I'm too honest and not interesting enough to have much that I won't stick on Facebook. But we'll keep it light and see how we go.
1. One time in primary school, one of the girls stole money from the tuck shop, and I told on her. Another time, the rest of the class looked up the answers to a maths exercise in the answer book when the teacher went out to take a phone call, and I told on them too. I was also so outraged that anyone would look up the answers rather than trying to work it out that I went home in a fit of indignant rage, according to my mother. Despite all this, I was surprisingly popular, although mainly when people needed some maths homework done.
2. I sometimes wonder whether I'm on The Truman Show, and when I'm alone I do weird things to freak out the audience. Sometimes I'm on my own and I do weird things anyway though, without the Truman Show thing.
3. Sometimes I worry that I'll never again be as happy as I was when I was a student.
4. As I child, I had a major problem with telling the truth, namely, I didn't like doing it. Part of this was a defense mechanism because I also had trust issues. And anxiety. And I probably didn't help myself by dobbing in the other members of the class when they tried to get Up To Something.
5. When I was about 6, I came up with a version of the multiverse theory while sitting on the toilet. I honestly don't think I had read about it anywhere before that point. I dismissed it as needing too much space, and never mentioned it to anyone.
6. When I was about 12, I decided I wanted to be left-handed, so I started practicing every evening for 20 minutes. I had a special notebook for it and everything. The notebook is probably still in my parents' house.
7. I still think that anything with eyes is real. Also that anything that has things that look like eyes is real. Like my car, for instance, who has eyes in her headlights (her wing mirrors are her ears). I'm honestly not sure how I'll cope when I have to get rid of my car, but I've a feeling I may be finding out fairly soon. I still talk to my teddies and feel bad if they fall out of bed during the night. Sometimes I get them to gang up on Mr Smile in an argument, so we can out-vote him. Sometimes he accepts this as a valid argument. Or he's too tired to argue. Hard to say.
8. I'd love to be a really good violinist. Or, failing that, really good at some musical instrument. Or just have some basic musical ability. I'd also like to have the confidence to sing in public, but I don't because one time someone told me I couldn't sing. So if I sing in front of you, you should take it as a major sign of trust, and not make fun of me, otherwise I will consider you to have betrayed me slightly.
9. One time when I was at university, someone bribed me 5p to vote for them in the student election. I took the 5p and voted for someone else.
10. I worry that I'm too sensitive and weird and off-the-wall for people to really like me. I try to be funny to cover it up, but I worry that no one is really fooled. Then I worry that I really shouldn't be this obsessed with what people think of me. On the sensitive thing, by the way, there are a surprising number of things which I consider to be betrayals of the highest order. We have already mentioned laughing at my singing. Also:
- Generally laughing at me at all
- Acting like you don't believe something I'm saying when I know it's true
- Saying I'm untidy or messy, when in fact I've just been feeling down and not tidying up is one of the first signs of that
- Racism. Because not everything is about me.
Tomorrow: 9 loves.