Wednesday, 31 December 2008

Review of the Year 2008 (Part 2)

So we are now into the final stretch as far as 2008 goes, and some of my correspondents in foreign places have already made the futuristic leap into 2009.

We have already reviewed most of the year in Part 1, and I have filled you in on all that has happened since then, so this Review of the Year Part 2 will focus largely on the success, or otherwise, of the New Year's Resolutions.

And it turns out that that 'or otherwise' is going to come in handy. Here's how it went:

1. The usual things: I will eat healthily, exercise a lot (must buy a new bike), and drink plenty of water. I will not live on chocolate. I will have a more disciplined spiritual life. I will take control of my finances and buy a house and start a pension, and other such responsible things. I will stop spending hours staring into space.
Ha. Buy a house? Start a pension? In my defense, though, had I done these things, I would now be living in a cardboard box under a bridge somewhere, spending hours staring into space, so this is not a bad thing.

2. I will put weight on. I know this is the opposite of what everyone else will be doing, but you see I've got a bit skinny, so I need to fatten up a bit, because my clothes don't fit any more, and I don't want to have to buy new ones (see previous post). Since most people are trying to lose weight, I could make a lot of money if only I could figure out a way to transfer weight between people.
I'm not sure, because I threw the scales out, but I suspect this didn't go so well either.

3. I will work very hard in work, and win Employee of the Week every week (this is not too difficult, since I started the award in the first place and I choose who gets it).
Now we're just getting ridiculous. I managed to work for a grand total of 3 full weeks this year. And forgot to award Employee of the Week in any of them. And probably wouldn't have deserved it anyway.

4. I will not undertake any form of DIY, building work, renovations or redecoration, other than that which is necessary to tidy up the current mess. I know this is disappointing for those who regularly follow the blog and enjoy the updates on the building work and the non-progression thereof, but there are plenty of other incompetent bandits out there and I am certain we can make do with them for a while. Besides, we still have some way to go with the present work, so we could be riding that wave well into the Spring.
The Spring? The Spring?! That was optimistic. But in general, this did not go too badly for most of the year, with very little DIY work being done, beyond assembling flat packs. However, we got a bit cocky towards autumn, with a bit of painting and papering, most of which was fine, apart from the Hole In The Living Room Ceiling Incident.

5. I will find a new, grown-up approach to handling crises. The current approach ('scream until grown-ups come') has served me well for the past 29.5 years, but it is wearing a little thin, and now that I'm about to turn 30 I need a more adult means of coping with life.
Does it count that I discovered that 'scream until grown-ups come' actually still works quite well, so I decided to stick with it?

6. I will leave Richard Dawkins alone, unless provoked.
I'm sure Richard Dawkins breathed a hearty sigh of relief at this one, and it went well for a full 3 months, until this little gem distracted us. In October we mused on The Atheist Bus Campaign, but I think that counts as provocation, and therefore is OK.

So much for the resolutions. I will come up with some new ones for 2009, and no doubt we will build on this year's success.

Of course, no Review of the Year at WhyNotSmile would be complete without the Review of the Year at The Largest Bar of Soap in the World, and an analysis of the related state of the global economy.

The Soap (for which read 'global financial markets') had presumably been around for some time, but only came to our attention in June, when it was received as a birthday present (the soap, not global financial markets). It was not, however, fully appreciated until September or so, when we realised just how large it was. Since then it has been in a steady decline, both in terms of quality and quantity.

The latest report shows that it is still about the same soapcumference, but underneath it has gone all squishy, and large brown cracks have developed.

An interesting point to note, though, is that the Soap has led to a massive increase in blog traffic; a look at my analysis software shows that the search terms which most frequently lead people here are variations on 'The Largest Bar of Soap in the World' and 'Large Soap' and 'Big Soap', which proves that more people are interested in the Soap than in global financial markets.

Happy New Year.

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