The WhyNotSmile Guide To The Offside Rule

There was a whole big thing at the weekend there about how men think that women do not understand the offside rule in football.  Thankfully, WhyNotSmile has done her research, and can now reveal how it works.

Apparently the thing is best understood if you imagine three women in a shop.  Woman 1 sees shoes behind the counter, and would like to buy them, but there is someone (Woman 2) in front of her in the queue who also wants to buy them.  She cannot push in front of Woman 1, because that would be rude, and anyway, for reasons we cannot begin to imagine, neither of them has any money, but has joined the queue regardless.  So woman 3 is at the back of the shop and throws her purse to woman 1, who can now bunk in front of Woman 2 and buy the shoes.  But they are all offside, because they should be on the football pitch and not in a shop.

And this is how the offside rule works.