The WhyNotSmile Tall Ships Souvenir Photo Guide (or whatever we're calling it) is not yet ready, but in the meantime you can have a sneak preview by going here (yes, the BBC Website) and looking at the 5th photo.
If you print it off and bring it round, I'll sign it for you.
Monday, 17 August 2009
Sunday, 16 August 2009
On The Photography Expedition, And How It Went
Well the secret photography location for the Tall Ships Parade of Sail turned out to be not so much 'secret' as 'being used as the Park & Ride car park', plus the whole thing got brought forward by an hour or so, due to the wind or something, without anyone telling me, so I turned up out of breath to a huge crowd of people just as the biggest boats sailed out of zoom range. Then it started raining.
Fortunately, the boats kind of came in 2 waves, as it were, so I caught the second lot and mighty fine the spectacle was too. I'll have lots of photos for you, but I have to sort through them first, so the WhyNotSmile Tall Ships Photo Souvenir Special Edition will not be published for a few hours yet.
In addition, my uncle has taken his boat up to the lough, with my dad and various others on board, so I may, in time, get more photos from them. Meanwhile, my mum is at home and thinks she can see Sagres coming - this is the one we were on, so it's particularly exciting.
Incidentally, does anyone know whether they broke the world record for the largest mass gathering of pirates yesterday? Tempting as it was to turn up with my laptop and start downloading & selling movies and music (get it? Pirates... but, like, software pirates?), my favourite suggestion was from Alan in Belfast, who was all for arranging for a load of people to turn up dressed as parrots and then walk away looking confused, but as he only came up with it last night over dinner, we'll have to wait till next time. Anyone up for it though?
Fortunately, the boats kind of came in 2 waves, as it were, so I caught the second lot and mighty fine the spectacle was too. I'll have lots of photos for you, but I have to sort through them first, so the WhyNotSmile Tall Ships Photo Souvenir Special Edition will not be published for a few hours yet.
In addition, my uncle has taken his boat up to the lough, with my dad and various others on board, so I may, in time, get more photos from them. Meanwhile, my mum is at home and thinks she can see Sagres coming - this is the one we were on, so it's particularly exciting.
Incidentally, does anyone know whether they broke the world record for the largest mass gathering of pirates yesterday? Tempting as it was to turn up with my laptop and start downloading & selling movies and music (get it? Pirates... but, like, software pirates?), my favourite suggestion was from Alan in Belfast, who was all for arranging for a load of people to turn up dressed as parrots and then walk away looking confused, but as he only came up with it last night over dinner, we'll have to wait till next time. Anyone up for it though?
Thursday, 13 August 2009
The Tall Ships: WhyNotSmile Investigates (Includes Special Pull-out Section: The WhyNotSmile Guide To The Maritime Festival and Tall Ships)
So, today was the opening of the Tall Ships and Maritime Festival in Belfast, and as promised, the Smile family headed over to see what was going on. If you only read one line of this post, read this one: go to the Belfast 2009 Tall Ships & Maritime Festival, it's class.
My parents were supposed to be arriving at my house at about 11, and managed to restrain themselves until about 10.30, which is an improvement on the general pattern followed for outings. So we went into Belfast, and after a detour to the bank, started searching for a bus to take us to the festivities at The Odyssey.
This should not have been difficult, what with the big buses with 'Odyssey' written on the front, but it took longer than you might expect and even then we had 3 attempts before we finally got on board - mainly due to Too Much Choice, as the buses were queued up and the Inspector kept saying 'You can get on the one behind this' to the people in the queue, at which the 3 of us obediently moved to the queue for the bus behind, at which the Inspector repeated his information and we moved again. By bus 3, however, we had cottoned on that we didn't actually have to move, it was just that we could if we wanted to, and thereafter things speeded up.
Anyway, we got off the bus and joined the orderly queue which we could see nearby, for no better reason than that if everyone else was thinking it was a good idea, we didn't want to miss out. After 10 minutes of not moving, we realised it wasn't quite 12 o'clock and things hadn't opened yet; when I mentioned this to mum I was overheard by several people in the queue and a lively debate ensued as to what time it started at and what time it was now, and shouldn't they have a 2-way system in place? I'm not sure how the 2-way system idea got started and developed, but it seemed to have wings, and by the time the boats sounded noon we were a mere several steps away from a complete re-organisation of the event logistics with WhyNotSmile at the helm.
Thankfully the crowd started to move, so we followed it, and after another 10 minutes or so came back out 10 yards from where we had started and decided to go for lunch. At some point we had each acquired a leaflet with More Information, and although none of us was quite certain where it had come from or who had given it to us, we agreed that it would be wise to have lunch before everyone else, and to read the leaflet while we ate so that we would know what to do.
Now, we discovered yesterday (on our reconnaisance cycle trip) that there is a nice cafe at the Pump House, and we strongly suspected that people would not generally know about it and that therefore it would be quiet, so we decided that that was the place to be (I didn't mention this before today because I wanted to make sure I had a peaceful lunch without hordes of people there, but I'm telling you now because I've had my quiet lunch and you can all congregate there as much as you like without disturbing me). So we just had to find the shuttle bus to take us there.
We asked a bus driver, and he didn't know because he was only doing the route into town and back out, mate, so we asked a man in an official looking jacket, who didn't know either, and then we asked a Scottish lady who had both a uniform and maps, and she told us roughly where to head. When we got about half way there, we saw a sign saying 'Queen's Road Bus Stop', with an official-jacket man at it, so we thought we'd better check that it was the Bus Stop we wanted to be at for the Queen's Road, and it turned out it wasn't, which we hadn't really expected.
So the moral of this tale is that nobody in red jackets knows anything much about what's happening, but they are all very nice and have walkie-talkies and will try to help, and I dare say they'll have got to grips with things a bit more by the time they've had a couple of days under their belts. It also didn't help, incidentally, that when I asked people, I kept calling it a 'Shuffle Bus' and they kept laughing at me, so if you're asking, you should probably try to get that right.
Anyway, the actual bus stop was just behind us, and we got there just as the bus came. The entire 500,000 people who were expected to come to the event over the 4 days appeared to be on board already, so we spent about 10 minutes watching people get off (as my mum said, "I think they're just getting off and then going round the back and getting on again"). Eventually we boarded, with the remaining 3 people in Belfast who hadn't just disembarked, and the bus set off.
Stop 1 was the Harland and Wolff Drawing Office; the other 3 people got off, but since we were headed for lunch a bit further down we stayed aboard, and were joined by a gaggle of elderly ladies who couldn't decide where to sit, who to sit next to (in particular, Hetty was keen to go next to Aggie, but Aggie had already sat down next to someone else), where to get off or generally what they were there for, so that took some time. Stop 2 was the Pump House & Titanic Dock, and as we disembarked we realised with joy that our plan had been good, and indeed no one had thought to go to the Pump House for lunch. We perused the sandwiches at our leisure (Meal Deal: 1 pack of 'themed' sandwiches, a bottle of Coke/Diet Coke/Sprite and a packet of crisps for £4); I went for 'The Apprentice' on brown bread, mum had 'The White Star' on white bread (spotted the sandwich theme yet?) and dad just picked the one that looked the biggest.
So, moral 2: go to the Pump House for lunch; no one knows it exists, so it's quiet, it's not that expensive, and you can sit outside and look over the lough. Also, they have nice toilets.
At one point my dad disappeared; we had assumed he had gone to the loo, but once he had been gone a suspiciously long time, we realised he must be buying things. My dad loves buying things at stuff like this; so long as it's of no earthly purpose and is extremely awkward to carry round for the day, he will buy it (we still have, in the back of a wardrobe somewhere, a hawaiian skirt that he bought in a Christmas market back in about 1987, and which he has always sworn will come in handy for a fancy dress party sooner or later). So he came back with a Tall Ships Souvenir Guide, and we read that, and discovered all sorts of things about the boats, and formulated a Plan for the rest of the day. By this time it was about 1 o'clock, and we headed back towards the Odyssey, stopping off at the Drawing Office on the way. There they had an exhibition about the Titanic (made in Belfast - "She was all right when she left here") which is also worth seeing, and a man who will tap your name out in Morse Code.
After this we got the shuttle bus back to the Odyssey and wandered round there a bit; mostly it involved dodging people with prams and buggies and taking photos of everything in sight, much the same as everyone else was doing. At a conservative estimate, there must have been a million photos taken today alone, plus thousands of videos which will mainly consist of half a second of a tall ship and then 30 seconds of people almost walking into the camera and looking annoyed.
We strolled the continental market, where they were selling everything from hammocks, bags and jumpers to giant flumps, many-flavoured turkish delight and kangaroo burgers. There was also a funfair, but we didn't go to that, so I can't tell you any more; I'm just saying it's there.
Next step was to cross the river to 'The Other Side' - by now we had abandoned the idea of the shuffle buses, because although there were tons of them, you had to queue to get on, and my dad despises queueing - it's sort of a principle of his; even a queue of 2 people can be too much, and it is generally thought safest to keep him moving. On the way out of the Odyssey grounds, we caught a little bit of street theatre and then headed over the Lagan Weir with millions of other people. The crowds were massive, but all going in the same direction, so the only concern was that the person at the front would suddenly stop and 3 million people would grind to a halt, leaving us trapped in a sea of buggies, balloons and cameras, but fortunately this did not happen.
Across the other side (the Big Fish side), we made our way to Clarendon Dock and joined the masses there. The thing was, although there were lots of people, they did keep moving ahead, and unless you actually wanted something specific there was no need ever to join a queue. So we browsed the RNLI stand (we didn't take up their offer of sea rescue training, but it did look quite good), we looked briefly at the continental market and decided to do it on the way back, and then saw a sign saying 'Pat's Bar' and started following arrows (to be more precise, dad started following the arrows, and mum and I followed him). So we got to the bar, and sat in the square watching comedy acts performing, and listening to music, and laughing at people who had won giant teddies in the funfair and were carrying them around not quite knowing what to do with them, and had a drink (one each, you understand, not one between us).
At this point (by now about 2.30pm), we realised we hadn't actually done much in the way of Tall Ships so far (other than take photos), so we headed off to try to find one that would let us climb aboard for a look round. The first one we came to had a queue about a hundred yards long, and it was clear that dad was not going to manage that no matter how interesting the boat, so we kept going and found ourselves in another continental market and another funfair. Dad bought some macaroons, which were very nice, and we took more photos of boats and dodged some more crowds and buggies and then came upon a boat with a very short queue which was moving quite fast. This, clearly, was the vessel for us.
The ship was called Sagres, and is Portuguese, and really was very nice, and, most importantly, tall. Visitors were allowed on board and you could walk round a guided path and take photos and so on, and talk to sailors, although mainly only if you knew Portuguese, and get your Souvenir Guide stamped to say you had visited. So it was very interesting and we took plenty of photos and my mum flirted with sailors.
By now we were getting tired and hungry, so we came off the boat and went back to the funfair and market. The funfair, incidentally, is one of those at which, if you held a gun to my head and said I had to go on one ride or you would shoot me, I would carve you the bullets out of my own eyeballs, because it was all spinny things and high up things and those sorts of things which I hate. On our way round we saw some Gladiators with whom you could have your photo taken for a tenner, or you could just take a photo of them for free, which was kind of better because, to be honest, they were a bit slimy and their shorts were too tight.
So we got some Turkish Delight and a venison burger, and, having reached the apogee of this side of the lough, started to head back. Yesterday, Dad and I had seen a ship we definitely wanted to visit, called the Bounty - the one which was used in The Mutiny on the Bounty, and Pirates of the Caribbean - and thus we joined an orderly and not-too-long queue, and were delighted to see that about 10,000 people joined it just behind us, so we were able to spend our queueing time crowing over how we had come along just in time and if we had been a minute later we would have had to wait a lot longer. The Bounty was also very nice on board, and had the added bonus of letting you go beneath decks (as I believe the technical term has it), which was interesting to see. Again we got our Souvenir Guide stamped, and by now we were ready for home.
Of course, we couldn't find our way out of the docks area for quite some time, so by the time we were heading for the bus it was rush hour, and I ended up travelling the length of the Woodstock and Cregagh Roads sitting in the luggage rack, but the bus was full of people who had had a great day at the Tall Ships and everyone was delighted to compare notes; of course, it was also full of people who had been in work all day, and who were feeling grumpy and not all that keen on talking, but frankly, since it was full twice over and there was no room to move, it wasn't as if they had any option other than to sit there and listen.
So that was the Tall Ships and Maritime Festival, and really, if you haven't gone, you should go. In addition to the things mentioned above, there are many other things which were of less interest to us but might be of more interest to others, including bouncy castles, boat tours of the lough (which bring you up next to the ships for a closer look and more photos), the World's Strongest Man Contest (which hadn't started when we were there) and various radio stations doing roadshows. Oh, there was also live music. And face painting. And other things. In fact, there is tons to do, and it's free to wander, so you really should go. Just don't try to take the car in.
You will of course want to plan your visit before you go, and with this in mind, WhyNotSmile has thoughtfully produced a Guide To The Maritime Festival and Tall Ships, which you should print off and study:
The WhyNotSmile Guide To The Maritime Festival And Tall Ships
It is important to familiarise yourself with things before you arrive. To this end, you should visit www.gotobelfast.com and find out what's happening. This may seem like a basic instruction, but there really is a lot to see, and it's very hard to figure it all out when you're standing in a sea of buggies.
In addition to the things on the website, please note the following:
1. Food. Food is copiously available. For a quiet lunch, go to the Pump House, as detailed above. The Odyssey is also open for dining, and the continental market can supply a range of culinary delights and horrors, although this tends to be more expensive. It is also possible to take a picnic and eat it on the grass.
2. Footwear. Bear in mind that you will be going on boats, and therefore high heels are not appropriate. Many have tried, and while failure is frequently hilarious for others, it may detract from your enjoyment of the day. Wear something you can walk miles in, whether you intend to walk miles or not; once you get caught up in the crowd, you may have no option.
3. Children. Buggies get in the way. Take them if you want, but know that you will be annoying everyone else, and it will take 5 times as long to get anywhere or do anything. Narrow buggies are generally easier to manouvre and will get you fewer dirty looks, but it has been noted that an extra wide twin buggy can be advantageous, as it allows the pusher to build up a momentum which is not easily resisted.
If your children let go of your hand at all, they will be swallowed up in the crowd, so make sure they have their names and addresses round their necks, and enough money for the bus fare home. If it's wet, you should probably also give them a house key in case they get back before you.
4. Money. The only thing you have to pay for is food, and bouncy castles etc. The event itself is free, the buses are free, and the boats are free. In fact, you can probably turn a profit if you wear a strange wig and hold out a cap; buskers and street performers are copious, and sooner or later someone will give you a few coins.
5. The Boats. In all the excitement, it is easy to overlook the main point of the event, which is to see the Tall Ships. You should probably try to get on board at least one or two of them. Since they are generally not all open at once, the decision may be made for you, but if you find yourself confronted by choice, remember that in 15 years' time, you won't have much beyond a stamped souvenir guide and a vague memory of a lot of ropes and wood; choose the boat that where you can take photos of yourself wearing a sailor hat and standing at the wheel, and make sure you get your souvenir guide stamped.
-----------------------------------------------
Please note that I will be spending the next several days sorting through a thousand photos, editing, cropping and deleting; once I have finished, I will publish for you an exclusive WhyNotSmile Photo Souvenir Guide of the Tall Ships in Belfast 2009, which will be worth Something in years to come.
Also I have to decide where to go to watch the ships leaving on Sunday; I think I've come up with a secret vantage point, but I'm not telling you because (1) you'll all turn up and get in the way, (2) it's kind of awkward to describe and (3) it might turn out to be wick; I haven't quite figured out the lie of the land round there.
My parents were supposed to be arriving at my house at about 11, and managed to restrain themselves until about 10.30, which is an improvement on the general pattern followed for outings. So we went into Belfast, and after a detour to the bank, started searching for a bus to take us to the festivities at The Odyssey.
This should not have been difficult, what with the big buses with 'Odyssey' written on the front, but it took longer than you might expect and even then we had 3 attempts before we finally got on board - mainly due to Too Much Choice, as the buses were queued up and the Inspector kept saying 'You can get on the one behind this' to the people in the queue, at which the 3 of us obediently moved to the queue for the bus behind, at which the Inspector repeated his information and we moved again. By bus 3, however, we had cottoned on that we didn't actually have to move, it was just that we could if we wanted to, and thereafter things speeded up.
Anyway, we got off the bus and joined the orderly queue which we could see nearby, for no better reason than that if everyone else was thinking it was a good idea, we didn't want to miss out. After 10 minutes of not moving, we realised it wasn't quite 12 o'clock and things hadn't opened yet; when I mentioned this to mum I was overheard by several people in the queue and a lively debate ensued as to what time it started at and what time it was now, and shouldn't they have a 2-way system in place? I'm not sure how the 2-way system idea got started and developed, but it seemed to have wings, and by the time the boats sounded noon we were a mere several steps away from a complete re-organisation of the event logistics with WhyNotSmile at the helm.
Thankfully the crowd started to move, so we followed it, and after another 10 minutes or so came back out 10 yards from where we had started and decided to go for lunch. At some point we had each acquired a leaflet with More Information, and although none of us was quite certain where it had come from or who had given it to us, we agreed that it would be wise to have lunch before everyone else, and to read the leaflet while we ate so that we would know what to do.
Now, we discovered yesterday (on our reconnaisance cycle trip) that there is a nice cafe at the Pump House, and we strongly suspected that people would not generally know about it and that therefore it would be quiet, so we decided that that was the place to be (I didn't mention this before today because I wanted to make sure I had a peaceful lunch without hordes of people there, but I'm telling you now because I've had my quiet lunch and you can all congregate there as much as you like without disturbing me). So we just had to find the shuttle bus to take us there.
We asked a bus driver, and he didn't know because he was only doing the route into town and back out, mate, so we asked a man in an official looking jacket, who didn't know either, and then we asked a Scottish lady who had both a uniform and maps, and she told us roughly where to head. When we got about half way there, we saw a sign saying 'Queen's Road Bus Stop', with an official-jacket man at it, so we thought we'd better check that it was the Bus Stop we wanted to be at for the Queen's Road, and it turned out it wasn't, which we hadn't really expected.
So the moral of this tale is that nobody in red jackets knows anything much about what's happening, but they are all very nice and have walkie-talkies and will try to help, and I dare say they'll have got to grips with things a bit more by the time they've had a couple of days under their belts. It also didn't help, incidentally, that when I asked people, I kept calling it a 'Shuffle Bus' and they kept laughing at me, so if you're asking, you should probably try to get that right.
Anyway, the actual bus stop was just behind us, and we got there just as the bus came. The entire 500,000 people who were expected to come to the event over the 4 days appeared to be on board already, so we spent about 10 minutes watching people get off (as my mum said, "I think they're just getting off and then going round the back and getting on again"). Eventually we boarded, with the remaining 3 people in Belfast who hadn't just disembarked, and the bus set off.
Stop 1 was the Harland and Wolff Drawing Office; the other 3 people got off, but since we were headed for lunch a bit further down we stayed aboard, and were joined by a gaggle of elderly ladies who couldn't decide where to sit, who to sit next to (in particular, Hetty was keen to go next to Aggie, but Aggie had already sat down next to someone else), where to get off or generally what they were there for, so that took some time. Stop 2 was the Pump House & Titanic Dock, and as we disembarked we realised with joy that our plan had been good, and indeed no one had thought to go to the Pump House for lunch. We perused the sandwiches at our leisure (Meal Deal: 1 pack of 'themed' sandwiches, a bottle of Coke/Diet Coke/Sprite and a packet of crisps for £4); I went for 'The Apprentice' on brown bread, mum had 'The White Star' on white bread (spotted the sandwich theme yet?) and dad just picked the one that looked the biggest.
So, moral 2: go to the Pump House for lunch; no one knows it exists, so it's quiet, it's not that expensive, and you can sit outside and look over the lough. Also, they have nice toilets.
At one point my dad disappeared; we had assumed he had gone to the loo, but once he had been gone a suspiciously long time, we realised he must be buying things. My dad loves buying things at stuff like this; so long as it's of no earthly purpose and is extremely awkward to carry round for the day, he will buy it (we still have, in the back of a wardrobe somewhere, a hawaiian skirt that he bought in a Christmas market back in about 1987, and which he has always sworn will come in handy for a fancy dress party sooner or later). So he came back with a Tall Ships Souvenir Guide, and we read that, and discovered all sorts of things about the boats, and formulated a Plan for the rest of the day. By this time it was about 1 o'clock, and we headed back towards the Odyssey, stopping off at the Drawing Office on the way. There they had an exhibition about the Titanic (made in Belfast - "She was all right when she left here") which is also worth seeing, and a man who will tap your name out in Morse Code.
After this we got the shuttle bus back to the Odyssey and wandered round there a bit; mostly it involved dodging people with prams and buggies and taking photos of everything in sight, much the same as everyone else was doing. At a conservative estimate, there must have been a million photos taken today alone, plus thousands of videos which will mainly consist of half a second of a tall ship and then 30 seconds of people almost walking into the camera and looking annoyed.
We strolled the continental market, where they were selling everything from hammocks, bags and jumpers to giant flumps, many-flavoured turkish delight and kangaroo burgers. There was also a funfair, but we didn't go to that, so I can't tell you any more; I'm just saying it's there.
Next step was to cross the river to 'The Other Side' - by now we had abandoned the idea of the shuffle buses, because although there were tons of them, you had to queue to get on, and my dad despises queueing - it's sort of a principle of his; even a queue of 2 people can be too much, and it is generally thought safest to keep him moving. On the way out of the Odyssey grounds, we caught a little bit of street theatre and then headed over the Lagan Weir with millions of other people. The crowds were massive, but all going in the same direction, so the only concern was that the person at the front would suddenly stop and 3 million people would grind to a halt, leaving us trapped in a sea of buggies, balloons and cameras, but fortunately this did not happen.
Across the other side (the Big Fish side), we made our way to Clarendon Dock and joined the masses there. The thing was, although there were lots of people, they did keep moving ahead, and unless you actually wanted something specific there was no need ever to join a queue. So we browsed the RNLI stand (we didn't take up their offer of sea rescue training, but it did look quite good), we looked briefly at the continental market and decided to do it on the way back, and then saw a sign saying 'Pat's Bar' and started following arrows (to be more precise, dad started following the arrows, and mum and I followed him). So we got to the bar, and sat in the square watching comedy acts performing, and listening to music, and laughing at people who had won giant teddies in the funfair and were carrying them around not quite knowing what to do with them, and had a drink (one each, you understand, not one between us).
At this point (by now about 2.30pm), we realised we hadn't actually done much in the way of Tall Ships so far (other than take photos), so we headed off to try to find one that would let us climb aboard for a look round. The first one we came to had a queue about a hundred yards long, and it was clear that dad was not going to manage that no matter how interesting the boat, so we kept going and found ourselves in another continental market and another funfair. Dad bought some macaroons, which were very nice, and we took more photos of boats and dodged some more crowds and buggies and then came upon a boat with a very short queue which was moving quite fast. This, clearly, was the vessel for us.
The ship was called Sagres, and is Portuguese, and really was very nice, and, most importantly, tall. Visitors were allowed on board and you could walk round a guided path and take photos and so on, and talk to sailors, although mainly only if you knew Portuguese, and get your Souvenir Guide stamped to say you had visited. So it was very interesting and we took plenty of photos and my mum flirted with sailors.
By now we were getting tired and hungry, so we came off the boat and went back to the funfair and market. The funfair, incidentally, is one of those at which, if you held a gun to my head and said I had to go on one ride or you would shoot me, I would carve you the bullets out of my own eyeballs, because it was all spinny things and high up things and those sorts of things which I hate. On our way round we saw some Gladiators with whom you could have your photo taken for a tenner, or you could just take a photo of them for free, which was kind of better because, to be honest, they were a bit slimy and their shorts were too tight.
So we got some Turkish Delight and a venison burger, and, having reached the apogee of this side of the lough, started to head back. Yesterday, Dad and I had seen a ship we definitely wanted to visit, called the Bounty - the one which was used in The Mutiny on the Bounty, and Pirates of the Caribbean - and thus we joined an orderly and not-too-long queue, and were delighted to see that about 10,000 people joined it just behind us, so we were able to spend our queueing time crowing over how we had come along just in time and if we had been a minute later we would have had to wait a lot longer. The Bounty was also very nice on board, and had the added bonus of letting you go beneath decks (as I believe the technical term has it), which was interesting to see. Again we got our Souvenir Guide stamped, and by now we were ready for home.
Of course, we couldn't find our way out of the docks area for quite some time, so by the time we were heading for the bus it was rush hour, and I ended up travelling the length of the Woodstock and Cregagh Roads sitting in the luggage rack, but the bus was full of people who had had a great day at the Tall Ships and everyone was delighted to compare notes; of course, it was also full of people who had been in work all day, and who were feeling grumpy and not all that keen on talking, but frankly, since it was full twice over and there was no room to move, it wasn't as if they had any option other than to sit there and listen.
So that was the Tall Ships and Maritime Festival, and really, if you haven't gone, you should go. In addition to the things mentioned above, there are many other things which were of less interest to us but might be of more interest to others, including bouncy castles, boat tours of the lough (which bring you up next to the ships for a closer look and more photos), the World's Strongest Man Contest (which hadn't started when we were there) and various radio stations doing roadshows. Oh, there was also live music. And face painting. And other things. In fact, there is tons to do, and it's free to wander, so you really should go. Just don't try to take the car in.
You will of course want to plan your visit before you go, and with this in mind, WhyNotSmile has thoughtfully produced a Guide To The Maritime Festival and Tall Ships, which you should print off and study:
The WhyNotSmile Guide To The Maritime Festival And Tall Ships
It is important to familiarise yourself with things before you arrive. To this end, you should visit www.gotobelfast.com and find out what's happening. This may seem like a basic instruction, but there really is a lot to see, and it's very hard to figure it all out when you're standing in a sea of buggies.
In addition to the things on the website, please note the following:
1. Food. Food is copiously available. For a quiet lunch, go to the Pump House, as detailed above. The Odyssey is also open for dining, and the continental market can supply a range of culinary delights and horrors, although this tends to be more expensive. It is also possible to take a picnic and eat it on the grass.
2. Footwear. Bear in mind that you will be going on boats, and therefore high heels are not appropriate. Many have tried, and while failure is frequently hilarious for others, it may detract from your enjoyment of the day. Wear something you can walk miles in, whether you intend to walk miles or not; once you get caught up in the crowd, you may have no option.
3. Children. Buggies get in the way. Take them if you want, but know that you will be annoying everyone else, and it will take 5 times as long to get anywhere or do anything. Narrow buggies are generally easier to manouvre and will get you fewer dirty looks, but it has been noted that an extra wide twin buggy can be advantageous, as it allows the pusher to build up a momentum which is not easily resisted.
If your children let go of your hand at all, they will be swallowed up in the crowd, so make sure they have their names and addresses round their necks, and enough money for the bus fare home. If it's wet, you should probably also give them a house key in case they get back before you.
4. Money. The only thing you have to pay for is food, and bouncy castles etc. The event itself is free, the buses are free, and the boats are free. In fact, you can probably turn a profit if you wear a strange wig and hold out a cap; buskers and street performers are copious, and sooner or later someone will give you a few coins.
5. The Boats. In all the excitement, it is easy to overlook the main point of the event, which is to see the Tall Ships. You should probably try to get on board at least one or two of them. Since they are generally not all open at once, the decision may be made for you, but if you find yourself confronted by choice, remember that in 15 years' time, you won't have much beyond a stamped souvenir guide and a vague memory of a lot of ropes and wood; choose the boat that where you can take photos of yourself wearing a sailor hat and standing at the wheel, and make sure you get your souvenir guide stamped.
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Please note that I will be spending the next several days sorting through a thousand photos, editing, cropping and deleting; once I have finished, I will publish for you an exclusive WhyNotSmile Photo Souvenir Guide of the Tall Ships in Belfast 2009, which will be worth Something in years to come.
Also I have to decide where to go to watch the ships leaving on Sunday; I think I've come up with a secret vantage point, but I'm not telling you because (1) you'll all turn up and get in the way, (2) it's kind of awkward to describe and (3) it might turn out to be wick; I haven't quite figured out the lie of the land round there.
Wednesday, 12 August 2009
Harland & Wolff: WhyNotSmile Investigates
This weekend is the Belfast Maritime Festival,
including Tall Ships, an event of such magnitude that not only are myself and Mama Smile going, but we are, in an unusual move, taking Papa Smile also; furthermore, Papa Smile wasn't sure how things would work out with parking and so on and it was therefore decided that we should do a rece today, this latter occurrence being additionally an opportunity for a cycle through Belfast which Papa Smile has been looking forward to for quite some time. I love it when a plan comes together.
So we cycled to the Odyssey, which is where much of the Tall Ships activity was planned, and we saw some of the Tall Ships, and I have to say they look very impressive. Should you be anywhere near Belfast this weekend, and at a loose end (or indeed a tight end with an alterable schedule), then you should probably call in on the festival and see the ships. I can also report that there are var
ious funfairs, a continental market, and an ice cream van.
You will, of course, hear more of this presently, but the reason for this post is to tell you about something interesting we discovered when we were cycling round the Titanic Quarter, part of which was closed off to allow for preparations for the Tall Ships thing, but another part of which was open instead, and it is in this part that we found something interesting.
Incidentally, doesn't my life seem to get considerably more complicated when it involves my dad rather than my mum? Days out with Mama Smile generally center around a picnic in a well-organised and very civilised public event; days with Papa Smile involve cycling around obscure areas of Belfast in search of toilets, or alcohol.
Anyway, the diversion we took went round by
the base of the Harland & Wolff cranes (the big yellow ones which you can see all over Belfast), and we were able to see the cranes close up. However, as we posed for photos (available shortly on Facebook), we heard a strange motorised kind of noise, and as we watched, one of the cranes started to move. Like, properly move, quite far, fairly fast, on the wheels that are on the bottom.
Now tell me, those of you who live in Belfast, did you honestly ever know that the cranes could move?
including Tall Ships, an event of such magnitude that not only are myself and Mama Smile going, but we are, in an unusual move, taking Papa Smile also; furthermore, Papa Smile wasn't sure how things would work out with parking and so on and it was therefore decided that we should do a rece today, this latter occurrence being additionally an opportunity for a cycle through Belfast which Papa Smile has been looking forward to for quite some time. I love it when a plan comes together.So we cycled to the Odyssey, which is where much of the Tall Ships activity was planned, and we saw some of the Tall Ships, and I have to say they look very impressive. Should you be anywhere near Belfast this weekend, and at a loose end (or indeed a tight end with an alterable schedule), then you should probably call in on the festival and see the ships. I can also report that there are var
ious funfairs, a continental market, and an ice cream van.You will, of course, hear more of this presently, but the reason for this post is to tell you about something interesting we discovered when we were cycling round the Titanic Quarter, part of which was closed off to allow for preparations for the Tall Ships thing, but another part of which was open instead, and it is in this part that we found something interesting.
Incidentally, doesn't my life seem to get considerably more complicated when it involves my dad rather than my mum? Days out with Mama Smile generally center around a picnic in a well-organised and very civilised public event; days with Papa Smile involve cycling around obscure areas of Belfast in search of toilets, or alcohol.
Anyway, the diversion we took went round by
the base of the Harland & Wolff cranes (the big yellow ones which you can see all over Belfast), and we were able to see the cranes close up. However, as we posed for photos (available shortly on Facebook), we heard a strange motorised kind of noise, and as we watched, one of the cranes started to move. Like, properly move, quite far, fairly fast, on the wheels that are on the bottom.Now tell me, those of you who live in Belfast, did you honestly ever know that the cranes could move?
Monday, 3 August 2009
Belfast Pride: WhyNotSmile Investigates
I've spent the last week thinking 'Oh! Bit of a sore throat! Swine flu? Hmmm.... Temperature? No. Not swine flu. But sore throat. Hmm... Strange variation of swine flu?' etc. Not that I'm all that worried about swine flu; when you spend your life in a state of chronic anxiety, there's not all that much room on top of the already constant 'How will I ever find a job? Who will ever marry me? Will I die alone and be eaten by alsations? What if I never find another job and starve to death? What if everyone figures out I am an abject failure and they all stop speaking to me?'; it's more the inconvenience and the fact that I haven't yet got round to selecting my 'flu buddy', and that I was helping at a kids' club and didn't want to be responsible for starting an epidemic.
Anyway. Mama Smile and I have now got into a routine of 'doing things' on Saturdays; previous weekends have been spent in Castle Ward and the Folk and Transport Museum, next Saturday is the Belfast Music & Taste Fest (or something; we're not that fussy about the details), the following one is the Tall Ships, but the weekend past did not present many options. Of course, Mama Smile and I abhor a vacuum, and since Mama Smile was coming up to Belfast anyway to bring Sister's car back up, we felt we might as well get the bus into town and see what was happening.
Which turned out to be Quite A Lot, as we discovered, on leafing through the 'Things To Do In Belfast In August' guide we had picked up in the craft thing we'd called in on. The initial plan was to get a bus up the Falls, since they were allegedly having live music on board for the afternoon. But we couldn't find a bus with live music on (based, admittedly, on a half-hearted survey of one), so we decided instead to check out the Belfast Pride parade.
Which was quite good, and, as parades go, much better than Orangefest. Very pink and fluffly, of course, and cheerful and so on, if a tad garish in places. One of the 'floats' was on board a tourist bus; I was rather astounded when Mama Smile pointed out that "It brings a whole new meaning to 'Hop On, Hop Off'", but recovered slightly when she said "It's like a whole different world", which was more the sort of thing I had expected.
There were protesters, of course, because you can't be into That Sort Of Thing in Belfast and not be protested at, but there were also 'God loves You' balloons to provide a sensible balance.
Unfortunately, it disrupted the buses, and we had to get back to my house in time for Mama Smile to drive Sister's car to Sister's Friend's House where Sister is currently living (before moving in with me in September, of which more in due course), walk to the train station, get a train to Bangor and then a bus to Ards to meet Papa Smile and get home in time to make dinner and then go to the neighbours' for supper, but thankfully we made it and all was well.
Anyway. Mama Smile and I have now got into a routine of 'doing things' on Saturdays; previous weekends have been spent in Castle Ward and the Folk and Transport Museum, next Saturday is the Belfast Music & Taste Fest (or something; we're not that fussy about the details), the following one is the Tall Ships, but the weekend past did not present many options. Of course, Mama Smile and I abhor a vacuum, and since Mama Smile was coming up to Belfast anyway to bring Sister's car back up, we felt we might as well get the bus into town and see what was happening.
Which turned out to be Quite A Lot, as we discovered, on leafing through the 'Things To Do In Belfast In August' guide we had picked up in the craft thing we'd called in on. The initial plan was to get a bus up the Falls, since they were allegedly having live music on board for the afternoon. But we couldn't find a bus with live music on (based, admittedly, on a half-hearted survey of one), so we decided instead to check out the Belfast Pride parade.
Which was quite good, and, as parades go, much better than Orangefest. Very pink and fluffly, of course, and cheerful and so on, if a tad garish in places. One of the 'floats' was on board a tourist bus; I was rather astounded when Mama Smile pointed out that "It brings a whole new meaning to 'Hop On, Hop Off'", but recovered slightly when she said "It's like a whole different world", which was more the sort of thing I had expected.
There were protesters, of course, because you can't be into That Sort Of Thing in Belfast and not be protested at, but there were also 'God loves You' balloons to provide a sensible balance.
Unfortunately, it disrupted the buses, and we had to get back to my house in time for Mama Smile to drive Sister's car to Sister's Friend's House where Sister is currently living (before moving in with me in September, of which more in due course), walk to the train station, get a train to Bangor and then a bus to Ards to meet Papa Smile and get home in time to make dinner and then go to the neighbours' for supper, but thankfully we made it and all was well.
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